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Tom “Not Of This Planet” Cruise has had his baby daughter, Suri’s poop bronzed.
No, I’m not going to say that ever again.
Courtesy of Sweet. Well, I guess it’s courtesy of Suri but,…
You know what I mean!
Here is Sweet.
This is having to much time on your hands!
Art?
Don’t think so.
I sure hope I don’t have to explain this one to Bobby!
Sweet
See it here. I dare you!
And Sweet? I was hoping you could explain it to me!
And it is an important one.
From Irene.
A keen Texas lad applied for a salesman’s job at a city department store. The store was the biggest in the world and sold everything under the sun.
“Have you ever been a salesman before?” the boss asked during his interview.
“Yes, I was a salesman in Texas,” the lad answered.
The boss took an immediate liking to him and told him he could start the next day.
“I’ll come and see how you made out after we close up,” the boss said.
The day was long and hard for the young man, but finally it was 5 o’clock. The boss closed up the store and found the lad sitting, slumped and exhausted, in a chair.
“How many sales did you make today?” the boss asked.
“One,” said the lad.
“One?” said the boss, obviously displeased. “Most of the sales people on my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?”
“Exactly $101,334.53,” said the young man.
“How did you manage that?” asked the boss, flabbergasted.
“Well,” said the lad, “this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one, and huge one. I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said he was going down the coast. I said he’d probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that fancy 22-foot Chris Craft with twin engines. Then he said his Honda Civic probably wouldn’tbe able to handle the load, so I took him to the vehicle department and sold him a new GMC 1-ton pickup truck.”
“You sold all that to guy who came in for a fish hook?” the boss asked in astonishment.”
He didn’t come in to buy a fish hook,” the Texas boy explained. “He came in to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said to him, ‘Your weekend’s shot. You might as well go fishing.’
Sweet has a little Geno story for us. It’s a great one, too!
Show them what ya got Sweet.
LITTLE GENO ON MATH
A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left ?”
She calls on little Geno.
He replies, “None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.”
The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”
Then little Geno says, “I have a question for YOU.”
“There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married ?”
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, “Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”
To which Little Geno replied, “The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on’, but I like your thinking.”
Tom “Not Of This Planet” Cruise has had his baby daughter, Suri’s poop bronzed.
No, I’m not going to say that ever again.
Courtesy of Sweet. Well, I guess it’s courtesy of Suri but,…
You know what I mean!
Here is Sweet.
This is having to much time on your hands!
Art?
Don’t think so.
I sure hope I don’t have to explain this one to Bobby!
Sweet
See it here. I dare you!
And Sweet? I was hoping you could explain it to me!
Remember Ira? Ira Hirsh is who I mean. He is a friend of mine from the Red Tongue website. His is an excellent brand of humor. His style is funny, but unlike anything you’ve seen before.
Well, he has some new material. He calls it “Cheesy Videos” and they are great. Head on over and check them out. He told me I would love them and he was right!
Thanks Ira, we need all the quality entertainment we can get. It’s getting to be hard to find.
But certainty not at Red Tongue!
Corrine told me this story about someone she knows, but she wouldn’t tell me who it was.
I think it was Bobby!
Sorry, Bob!
Why I was fired
For the last company picnic, management had decided that, due to liability issues, we could have alcohol, but only one (1) drink per person.
I was fired for ordering the cups.
At least I don’t think he did.
Remember Ira? Ira Hirsh is who I mean. He is a friend of mine from the Red Tongue website. His is an excellent brand of humor. His style is funny, but unlike anything you’ve seen before.
Well, he has some new material. He calls it “Cheesy Videos” and they are great. Head on over and check them out. He told me I would love them and he was right!
Thanks Ira, we need all the quality entertainment we can get. It’s getting to be hard to find.
But certainty not at Red Tongue!
And it is an important one.
From Irene.
A keen Texas lad applied for a salesman’s job at a city department store. The store was the biggest in the world and sold everything under the sun.
“Have you ever been a salesman before?” the boss asked during his interview.
“Yes, I was a salesman in Texas,” the lad answered.
The boss took an immediate liking to him and told him he could start the next day.
“I’ll come and see how you made out after we close up,” the boss said.
The day was long and hard for the young man, but finally it was 5 o’clock. The boss closed up the store and found the lad sitting, slumped and exhausted, in a chair.
“How many sales did you make today?” the boss asked.
“One,” said the lad.
“One?” said the boss, obviously displeased. “Most of the sales people on my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?”
“Exactly $101,334.53,” said the young man.
“How did you manage that?” asked the boss, flabbergasted.
“Well,” said the lad, “this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one, and huge one. I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said he was going down the coast. I said he’d probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that fancy 22-foot Chris Craft with twin engines. Then he said his Honda Civic probably wouldn’tbe able to handle the load, so I took him to the vehicle department and sold him a new GMC 1-ton pickup truck.”
“You sold all that to guy who came in for a fish hook?” the boss asked in astonishment.”
He didn’t come in to buy a fish hook,” the Texas boy explained. “He came in to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said to him, ‘Your weekend’s shot. You might as well go fishing.’
Sweet has a little Geno story for us. It’s a great one, too!
Show them what ya got Sweet.
LITTLE GENO ON MATH
A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left ?”
She calls on little Geno.
He replies, “None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.”
The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”
Then little Geno says, “I have a question for YOU.”
“There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married ?”
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, “Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”
To which Little Geno replied, “The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on’, but I like your thinking.”
Corrine told me this story about someone she knows, but she wouldn’t tell me who it was.
I think it was Bobby!
Sorry, Bob!
Why I was fired
For the last company picnic, management had decided that, due to liability issues, we could have alcohol, but only one (1) drink per person.
I was fired for ordering the cups.
Tom “Not Of This Planet” Cruise has had his baby daughter, Suri’s poop bronzed.
No, I’m not going to say that ever again.
Courtesy of Sweet. Well, I guess it’s courtesy of Suri but,…
You know what I mean!
Here is Sweet.
This is having to much time on your hands!
Art?
Don’t think so.
I sure hope I don’t have to explain this one to Bobby!
Sweet
See it here. I dare you!
And Sweet? I was hoping you could explain it to me!
How Corrine gets so much material, and all of it good, is beyond me.
Oh, and dead on with the Ohio facts, Corrine. I’ve lived here all my life. I’m not sure why.
This is so funny and true!!
Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio
All I have to say is “Go Bucks!”
You might be from Ohio (pronounced O-hi-uh), if:
You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!
You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.
You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candied ones.
“Toward the lake” means “north” and “toward the river” means “south.”
You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in Cincinnati!
“Vacation! ” means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer and deer hunting in the fall.
You measure distance in minutes.
Your school classes were cancelled because of cold.
Your school classes were cancelled because of heat.
You’ve had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. For example: “Where’s my coat at?”
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major four food groups as corn, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what ‘pop’ is.
You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. (Amen!)
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
If you actually get these jokes — then forward ‘em to your OHIO friends!
How Corrine gets so much material, and all of it good, is beyond me.
Oh, and dead on with the Ohio facts, Corrine. I’ve lived here all my life. I’m not sure why.
This is so funny and true!!
Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio
All I have to say is “Go Bucks!”
You might be from Ohio (pronounced O-hi-uh), if:
You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!
You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.
You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candied ones.
“Toward the lake” means “north” and “toward the river” means “south.”
You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in Cincinnati!
“Vacation! ” means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer and deer hunting in the fall.
You measure distance in minutes.
Your school classes were cancelled because of cold.
Your school classes were cancelled because of heat.
You’ve had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. For example: “Where’s my coat at?”
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major four food groups as corn, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what ‘pop’ is.
You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. (Amen!)
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
If you actually get these jokes — then forward ‘em to your OHIO friends!
How Corrine gets so much material, and all of it good, is beyond me.
Oh, and dead on with the Ohio facts, Corrine. I’ve lived here all my life. I’m not sure why.
This is so funny and true!!
Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio
All I have to say is “Go Bucks!”
You might be from Ohio (pronounced O-hi-uh), if:
You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!
You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.
You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candied ones.
“Toward the lake” means “north” and “toward the river” means “south.”
You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in Cincinnati!
“Vacation! ” means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer and deer hunting in the fall.
You measure distance in minutes.
Your school classes were cancelled because of cold.
Your school classes were cancelled because of heat.
You’ve had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. For example: “Where’s my coat at?”
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major four food groups as corn, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what ‘pop’ is.
You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. (Amen!)
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
If you actually get these jokes — then forward ‘em to your OHIO friends!
How Corrine gets so much material, and all of it good, is beyond me.
Oh, and dead on with the Ohio facts, Corrine. I’ve lived here all my life. I’m not sure why.
This is so funny and true!!
Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio
All I have to say is “Go Bucks!”
You might be from Ohio (pronounced O-hi-uh), if:
You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!
You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.
You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candied ones.
“Toward the lake” means “north” and “toward the river” means “south.”
You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in Cincinnati!
“Vacation! ” means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer and deer hunting in the fall.
You measure distance in minutes.
Your school classes were cancelled because of cold.
Your school classes were cancelled because of heat.
You’ve had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. For example: “Where’s my coat at?”
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major four food groups as corn, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what ‘pop’ is.
You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. (Amen!)
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
If you actually get these jokes — then forward ‘em to your OHIO friends!
How Corrine gets so much material, and all of it good, is beyond me.
Oh, and dead on with the Ohio facts, Corrine. I’ve lived here all my life. I’m not sure why.
This is so funny and true!!
Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio
All I have to say is “Go Bucks!”
You might be from Ohio (pronounced O-hi-uh), if:
You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!
You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.
You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candied ones.
“Toward the lake” means “north” and “toward the river” means “south.”
You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in Cincinnati!
“Vacation! ” means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer and deer hunting in the fall.
You measure distance in minutes.
Your school classes were cancelled because of cold.
Your school classes were cancelled because of heat.
You’ve had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. For example: “Where’s my coat at?”
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major four food groups as corn, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what ‘pop’ is.
You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. (Amen!)
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
If you actually get these jokes — then forward ‘em to your OHIO friends!
How Corrine gets so much material, and all of it good, is beyond me.
Oh, and dead on with the Ohio facts, Corrine. I’ve lived here all my life. I’m not sure why.
This is so funny and true!!
Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio
All I have to say is “Go Bucks!”
You might be from Ohio (pronounced O-hi-uh), if:
You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!
You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.
You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candied ones.
“Toward the lake” means “north” and “toward the river” means “south.”
You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in Cincinnati!
“Vacation! ” means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer and deer hunting in the fall.
You measure distance in minutes.
Your school classes were cancelled because of cold.
Your school classes were cancelled because of heat.
You’ve had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. For example: “Where’s my coat at?”
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major four food groups as corn, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what ‘pop’ is.
You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. (Amen!)
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
If you actually get these jokes — then forward ‘em to your OHIO friends!
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