You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December, 2006.
From master chef Corrine.
Take twelve whole months.
Clean them thoroughly of all bitterness, hate, and jealousy.
Make them just as fresh and clean as possible.
Now cut each month into twenty-eight, thirty, or thirty-one different parts, but don’t make up the whole batch at once.
Prepare it one day at a time out of these ingredients.
Mix well into each day one part of faith, one part of patience, one part of courage, and one part of work.
Add to each day one part of hope, faithfulness, generosity, and kindness.
Blend with one part prayer, one part meditation, and one good deed.
Season the whole with a dash of good spirits, a sprinkle of fun, a pinch of play, and a cup full of good humor.
Pour all of this into a vessel of love.
Cook thoroughly over radiant joy, garnish with a smile, and serve with quietness, unselfishness and cheerfulness.
From Corrine.
2006 has sped by
Now, we need to face 2007
There may be risks involved
We may need to face roadblocks
So stay alert
Share time with friends
Jump over obstacles
With care
And caution
Face challenges
Remember to laugh
Cooperate
Discover
Make new friends
Above all…be ready for adventure
Stick together
And you will be able to go far
Very far….
Well, not quite that far….
Always take time to smell the flowers
Don’t forget to relax and enjoy
And never forget to love those dearest to you
May God Bless You in 2007!
Here is a card I received from Corrine today.
Corrine is a little bit different.
A little odd.
A little strange.
Just like me.
That’s why we get along so well!
Sometimes, When I feel like
nobody understands me,
it helps to think of YOU!
.
.
.
.
Nobody Understands You EITHER!!
From Corrine.
What, you ask, is “Butt dust?” Read on and you’ll discover the joy in it! These have to be original and genuine . . no adult is this creative!
JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister.After a while he asked: “Mom, why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?”
MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was Granny replied she was so old she didn’t remember any more. Melanie said, “If you don’t remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.”
STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. “I love you so much, that when you die I’m going to bury you outside my bedroom window.”
BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she’d have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: “How does it know it’s me?”
SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. “Please don’t give me this juice again,” she said, “It makes my teeth cough.”
D.I. (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: “How much do I cost?”
MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: “Why is he whispering in her mouth?”
CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom what was troubling him, he replied, “I don’t know what’ll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?”
JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt. Concerned, James asked: “What happened to the flea?”
TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, “Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?”
The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.. this particular Sunday sermon… “Dear Lord,” the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. “Without you, we are but dust.” He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, “Mom, what is butt dust?”
The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed.
As we celebrate this New Year, I mentioned something to my friend Ralph. He shot his usual smart ass answer back. I told him that I would slap the stupid off of him.
He responded, “Your hand will hurt first”.
From Corrine.
If you have any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in 2007.
1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R.Grace Co. will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker.
3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.
4.) Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
Zip Audi DoDa.
5.) FedEx is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.
6.) Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.
7.) Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
Poupon Pants.
8.) Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!
And finally
9.) Victoria ’s Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name:
Titty Titty Bang Bang
From master chef Corrine.
Take twelve whole months.
Clean them thoroughly of all bitterness, hate, and jealousy.
Make them just as fresh and clean as possible.
Now cut each month into twenty-eight, thirty, or thirty-one different parts, but don’t make up the whole batch at once.
Prepare it one day at a time out of these ingredients.
Mix well into each day one part of faith, one part of patience, one part of courage, and one part of work.
Add to each day one part of hope, faithfulness, generosity, and kindness.
Blend with one part prayer, one part meditation, and one good deed.
Season the whole with a dash of good spirits, a sprinkle of fun, a pinch of play, and a cup full of good humor.
Pour all of this into a vessel of love.
Cook thoroughly over radiant joy, garnish with a smile, and serve with quietness, unselfishness and cheerfulness.
From Corrine.
2006 has sped by
Now, we need to face 2007
There may be risks involved
We may need to face roadblocks
So stay alert
Share time with friends
Jump over obstacles
With care
And caution
Face challenges
Remember to laugh
Cooperate
Discover
Make new friends
Above all…be ready for adventure
Stick together
And you will be able to go far
Very far….
Well, not quite that far….
Always take time to smell the flowers
Don’t forget to relax and enjoy
And never forget to love those dearest to you
May God Bless You in 2007!
Here is a card I received from Corrine today.
Corrine is a little bit different.
A little odd.
A little strange.
Just like me.
That’s why we get along so well!
Sometimes, When I feel like
nobody understands me,
it helps to think of YOU!
.
.
.
.
Nobody Understands You EITHER!!
From Corrine.
If you have any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in 2007.
1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R.Grace Co. will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker.
3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.
4.) Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
Zip Audi DoDa.
5.) FedEx is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.
6.) Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.
7.) Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
Poupon Pants.
8.) Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!
And finally
9.) Victoria ’s Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name:
Titty Titty Bang Bang
Sweet is running the New Years Resolutions this year.
Come on people, pony up some good ones.
Got any? Post them here! Come on, I don’t want to be the only one with a resolution posted!
I resolve to continue to bring you news stories, which will entertain you:
And I am starting now…….
Jan Vinzenz Krause of the Institute for Condom Consultancy produces a prototype of a spray-on condom in Singen December 5, 2006. From the German who invented snug spray-on condoms. Hold on honey, I have to spray-on my condom……you got it….like that’s gonna happen….I wonder if Geno would use this????
Man. I hope there’s not a photo.
Crap, there’s a photo. -Tramp
.
.
As crimes go, this one was for the dogs Hot-Dogs that is……………….. When the customer went to the counter to pay, the clerk noticed he had jammed two hotdogs into his bun, camouflaging his snack under a pile of condiments. It apparently wasn’t the first time this customer had tried to double-dog his bun, so the employee called police. Is this kinda like a double dog dare??????? A woman attacked a man in his genitals during a Christmas party, injuring him badly enough that he needed 50 stitches. Okay maybe this one hurts just a little for our male readers…… Happy New Year……give me something to laugh at….what’s you resolution? Sweet
xoxoxoxo
Alright, my resolution is to track down and properly beat whoever is responsible for giving Donald Trump a TV show. Then I’ll track down whoever put Rosie’s mug on TV. Then I’ll hunt down Rosie herself and have a slapfest! -Tramp
I resolve to drive to Ohio for some fine Belgian Brew, followed up by wonderful fresh roasted and brewed coffee. I also resolve to learn more about how this damn computer works! -Carrie
I resolve to not resolve problems without showing some resolve! -Tramp
In the hand of life, I resolve to try and be Number 1!!!! -Carrie
I resolve to let Carrie be Number 1!
So I can stand behind her. Better view. -Tramp
**********************************************************
Sweet is running the New Years Resolutions this year.
Come on people, pony up some good ones.
Got any? Post them here! Come on, I don’t want to be the only one with a resolution posted!
I resolve to continue to bring you news stories, which will entertain you:
And I am starting now…….
Jan Vinzenz Krause of the Institute for Condom Consultancy produces a prototype of a spray-on condom in Singen December 5, 2006. From the German who invented snug spray-on condoms. Hold on honey, I have to spray-on my condom……you got it….like that’s gonna happen….I wonder if Geno would use this????
Man. I hope there’s not a photo.
Crap, there’s a photo. -Tramp
.
.
As crimes go, this one was for the dogs Hot-Dogs that is……………….. When the customer went to the counter to pay, the clerk noticed he had jammed two hotdogs into his bun, camouflaging his snack under a pile of condiments. It apparently wasn’t the first time this customer had tried to double-dog his bun, so the employee called police. Is this kinda like a double dog dare??????? A woman attacked a man in his genitals during a Christmas party, injuring him badly enough that he needed 50 stitches. Okay maybe this one hurts just a little for our male readers…… Happy New Year……give me something to laugh at….what’s you resolution? Sweet
xoxoxoxo
Alright, my resolution is to track down and properly beat whoever is responsible for giving Donald Trump a TV show. Then I’ll track down whoever put Rosie’s mug on TV. Then I’ll hunt down Rosie herself and have a slapfest! -Tramp
I resolve to drive to Ohio for some fine Belgian Brew, followed up by wonderful fresh roasted and brewed coffee. I also resolve to learn more about how this damn computer works! -Carrie
I resolve to not resolve problems without showing some resolve! -Tramp
In the hand of life, I resolve to try and be Number 1!!!! -Carrie
I resolve to let Carrie be Number 1!
So I can stand behind her. Better view. -Tramp
**********************************************************
Sweet is running the New Years Resolutions this year.
Come on people, pony up some good ones.
Got any? Post them here! Come on, I don’t want to be the only one with a resolution posted!
I resolve to continue to bring you news stories, which will entertain you:
And I am starting now…….
Jan Vinzenz Krause of the Institute for Condom Consultancy produces a prototype of a spray-on condom in Singen December 5, 2006. From the German who invented snug spray-on condoms. Hold on honey, I have to spray-on my condom……you got it….like that’s gonna happen….I wonder if Geno would use this????
Man. I hope there’s not a photo.
Crap, there’s a photo. -Tramp
.
.
As crimes go, this one was for the dogs Hot-Dogs that is……………….. When the customer went to the counter to pay, the clerk noticed he had jammed two hotdogs into his bun, camouflaging his snack under a pile of condiments. It apparently wasn’t the first time this customer had tried to double-dog his bun, so the employee called police. Is this kinda like a double dog dare??????? A woman attacked a man in his genitals during a Christmas party, injuring him badly enough that he needed 50 stitches. Okay maybe this one hurts just a little for our male readers…… Happy New Year……give me something to laugh at….what’s you resolution? Sweet
xoxoxoxo
Alright, my resolution is to track down and properly beat whoever is responsible for giving Donald Trump a TV show. Then I’ll track down whoever put Rosie’s mug on TV. Then I’ll hunt down Rosie herself and have a slapfest! -Tramp
I resolve to drive to Ohio for some fine Belgian Brew, followed up by wonderful fresh roasted and brewed coffee. I also resolve to learn more about how this damn computer works! -Carrie
I resolve to not resolve problems without showing some resolve! -Tramp
In the hand of life, I resolve to try and be Number 1!!!! -Carrie
I resolve to let Carrie be Number 1!
So I can stand behind her. Better view. -Tramp
**********************************************************
Sweet is running the New Years Resolutions this year.
Come on people, pony up some good ones.
Got any? Post them here! Come on, I don’t want to be the only one with a resolution posted!
I resolve to continue to bring you news stories, which will entertain you:
And I am starting now…….
Jan Vinzenz Krause of the Institute for Condom Consultancy produces a prototype of a spray-on condom in Singen December 5, 2006. From the German who invented snug spray-on condoms. Hold on honey, I have to spray-on my condom……you got it….like that’s gonna happen….I wonder if Geno would use this????
Man. I hope there’s not a photo.
Crap, there’s a photo. -Tramp
.
.
As crimes go, this one was for the dogs Hot-Dogs that is……………….. When the customer went to the counter to pay, the clerk noticed he had jammed two hotdogs into his bun, camouflaging his snack under a pile of condiments. It apparently wasn’t the first time this customer had tried to double-dog his bun, so the employee called police. Is this kinda like a double dog dare??????? A woman attacked a man in his genitals during a Christmas party, injuring him badly enough that he needed 50 stitches. Okay maybe this one hurts just a little for our male readers…… Happy New Year……give me something to laugh at….what’s you resolution? Sweet
xoxoxoxo
Alright, my resolution is to track down and properly beat whoever is responsible for giving Donald Trump a TV show. Then I’ll track down whoever put Rosie’s mug on TV. Then I’ll hunt down Rosie herself and have a slapfest! -Tramp
I resolve to drive to Ohio for some fine Belgian Brew, followed up by wonderful fresh roasted and brewed coffee. I also resolve to learn more about how this damn computer works! -Carrie
I resolve to not resolve problems without showing some resolve! -Tramp
In the hand of life, I resolve to try and be Number 1!!!! -Carrie
I resolve to let Carrie be Number 1!
So I can stand behind her. Better view. -Tramp
**********************************************************
Sweet is running the New Years Resolutions this year.
Come on people, pony up some good ones.
Got any? Post them here! Come on, I don’t want to be the only one with a resolution posted!
I resolve to continue to bring you news stories, which will entertain you:
And I am starting now…….
Jan Vinzenz Krause of the Institute for Condom Consultancy produces a prototype of a spray-on condom in Singen December 5, 2006. From the German who invented snug spray-on condoms. Hold on honey, I have to spray-on my condom……you got it….like that’s gonna happen….I wonder if Geno would use this????
Man. I hope there’s not a photo.
Crap, there’s a photo. -Tramp
.
.
As crimes go, this one was for the dogs Hot-Dogs that is……………….. When the customer went to the counter to pay, the clerk noticed he had jammed two hotdogs into his bun, camouflaging his snack under a pile of condiments. It apparently wasn’t the first time this customer had tried to double-dog his bun, so the employee called police. Is this kinda like a double dog dare??????? A woman attacked a man in his genitals during a Christmas party, injuring him badly enough that he needed 50 stitches. Okay maybe this one hurts just a little for our male readers…… Happy New Year……give me something to laugh at….what’s you resolution? Sweet
xoxoxoxo
Alright, my resolution is to track down and properly beat whoever is responsible for giving Donald Trump a TV show. Then I’ll track down whoever put Rosie’s mug on TV. Then I’ll hunt down Rosie herself and have a slapfest! -Tramp
I resolve to drive to Ohio for some fine Belgian Brew, followed up by wonderful fresh roasted and brewed coffee. I also resolve to learn more about how this damn computer works! -Carrie
I resolve to not resolve problems without showing some resolve! -Tramp
In the hand of life, I resolve to try and be Number 1!!!! -Carrie
I resolve to let Carrie be Number 1!
So I can stand behind her. Better view. -Tramp
**********************************************************
Sweet is running the New Years Resolutions this year.
Come on people, pony up some good ones.
Got any? Post them here! Come on, I don’t want to be the only one with a resolution posted!
I resolve to continue to bring you news stories, which will entertain you:
And I am starting now…….
Jan Vinzenz Krause of the Institute for Condom Consultancy produces a prototype of a spray-on condom in Singen December 5, 2006. From the German who invented snug spray-on condoms. Hold on honey, I have to spray-on my condom……you got it….like that’s gonna happen….I wonder if Geno would use this????
Man. I hope there’s not a photo.
Crap, there’s a photo. -Tramp
.
.
As crimes go, this one was for the dogs Hot-Dogs that is……………….. When the customer went to the counter to pay, the clerk noticed he had jammed two hotdogs into his bun, camouflaging his snack under a pile of condiments. It apparently wasn’t the first time this customer had tried to double-dog his bun, so the employee called police. Is this kinda like a double dog dare??????? A woman attacked a man in his genitals during a Christmas party, injuring him badly enough that he needed 50 stitches. Okay maybe this one hurts just a little for our male readers…… Happy New Year……give me something to laugh at….what’s you resolution? Sweet
xoxoxoxo
Alright, my resolution is to track down and properly beat whoever is responsible for giving Donald Trump a TV show. Then I’ll track down whoever put Rosie’s mug on TV. Then I’ll hunt down Rosie herself and have a slapfest! -Tramp
I resolve to drive to Ohio for some fine Belgian Brew, followed up by wonderful fresh roasted and brewed coffee. I also resolve to learn more about how this damn computer works! -Carrie
I resolve to not resolve problems without showing some resolve! -Tramp
In the hand of life, I resolve to try and be Number 1!!!! -Carrie
I resolve to let Carrie be Number 1!
So I can stand behind her. Better view. -Tramp
**********************************************************
Sweet is running the New Years Resolutions this year.
Come on people, pony up some good ones.
Got any? Post them here! Come on, I don’t want to be the only one with a resolution posted!
I resolve to continue to bring you news stories, which will entertain you:
And I am starting now…….
Jan Vinzenz Krause of the Institute for Condom Consultancy produces a prototype of a spray-on condom in Singen December 5, 2006. From the German who invented snug spray-on condoms. Hold on honey, I have to spray-on my condom……you got it….like that’s gonna happen….I wonder if Geno would use this????
Man. I hope there’s not a photo.
Crap, there’s a photo. -Tramp
.
.
As crimes go, this one was for the dogs Hot-Dogs that is……………….. When the customer went to the counter to pay, the clerk noticed he had jammed two hotdogs into his bun, camouflaging his snack under a pile of condiments. It apparently wasn’t the first time this customer had tried to double-dog his bun, so the employee called police. Is this kinda like a double dog dare??????? A woman attacked a man in his genitals during a Christmas party, injuring him badly enough that he needed 50 stitches. Okay maybe this one hurts just a little for our male readers…… Happy New Year……give me something to laugh at….what’s you resolution? Sweet
xoxoxoxo
Alright, my resolution is to track down and properly beat whoever is responsible for giving Donald Trump a TV show. Then I’ll track down whoever put Rosie’s mug on TV. Then I’ll hunt down Rosie herself and have a slapfest! -Tramp
I resolve to drive to Ohio for some fine Belgian Brew, followed up by wonderful fresh roasted and brewed coffee. I also resolve to learn more about how this damn computer works! -Carrie
I resolve to not resolve problems without showing some resolve! -Tramp
In the hand of life, I resolve to try and be Number 1!!!! -Carrie
I resolve to let Carrie be Number 1!
So I can stand behind her. Better view. -Tramp
**********************************************************
Sweet is running the New Years Resolutions this year.
Come on people, pony up some good ones.
Got any? Post them here! Come on, I don’t want to be the only one with a resolution posted!
I resolve to continue to bring you news stories, which will entertain you:
And I am starting now…….
Jan Vinzenz Krause of the Institute for Condom Consultancy produces a prototype of a spray-on condom in Singen December 5, 2006. From the German who invented snug spray-on condoms. Hold on honey, I have to spray-on my condom……you got it….like that’s gonna happen….I wonder if Geno would use this????
Man. I hope there’s not a photo.
Crap, there’s a photo. -Tramp
.
.
As crimes go, this one was for the dogs Hot-Dogs that is……………….. When the customer went to the counter to pay, the clerk noticed he had jammed two hotdogs into his bun, camouflaging his snack under a pile of condiments. It apparently wasn’t the first time this customer had tried to double-dog his bun, so the employee called police. Is this kinda like a double dog dare??????? A woman attacked a man in his genitals during a Christmas party, injuring him badly enough that he needed 50 stitches. Okay maybe this one hurts just a little for our male readers…… Happy New Year……give me something to laugh at….what’s you resolution? Sweet
xoxoxoxo
Alright, my resolution is to track down and properly beat whoever is responsible for giving Donald Trump a TV show. Then I’ll track down whoever put Rosie’s mug on TV. Then I’ll hunt down Rosie herself and have a slapfest! -Tramp
I resolve to drive to Ohio for some fine Belgian Brew, followed up by wonderful fresh roasted and brewed coffee. I also resolve to learn more about how this damn computer works! -Carrie
I resolve to not resolve problems without showing some resolve! -Tramp
In the hand of life, I resolve to try and be Number 1!!!! -Carrie
I resolve to let Carrie be Number 1!
So I can stand behind her. Better view. -Tramp
**********************************************************
Sweet is running the New Years Resolutions this year.
Come on people, pony up some good ones.
Got any? Post them here! Come on, I don’t want to be the only one with a resolution posted!
I resolve to continue to bring you news stories, which will entertain you:
And I am starting now…….
Jan Vinzenz Krause of the Institute for Condom Consultancy produces a prototype of a spray-on condom in Singen December 5, 2006. From the German who invented snug spray-on condoms. Hold on honey, I have to spray-on my condom……you got it….like that’s gonna happen….I wonder if Geno would use this????
Man. I hope there’s not a photo.
Crap, there’s a photo. -Tramp
.
.
As crimes go, this one was for the dogs Hot-Dogs that is……………….. When the customer went to the counter to pay, the clerk noticed he had jammed two hotdogs into his bun, camouflaging his snack under a pile of condiments. It apparently wasn’t the first time this customer had tried to double-dog his bun, so the employee called police. Is this kinda like a double dog dare??????? A woman attacked a man in his genitals during a Christmas party, injuring him badly enough that he needed 50 stitches. Okay maybe this one hurts just a little for our male readers…… Happy New Year……give me something to laugh at….what’s you resolution? Sweet
xoxoxoxo
Alright, my resolution is to track down and properly beat whoever is responsible for giving Donald Trump a TV show. Then I’ll track down whoever put Rosie’s mug on TV. Then I’ll hunt down Rosie herself and have a slapfest! -Tramp
I resolve to drive to Ohio for some fine Belgian Brew, followed up by wonderful fresh roasted and brewed coffee. I also resolve to learn more about how this damn computer works! -Carrie
I resolve to not resolve problems without showing some resolve! -Tramp
In the hand of life, I resolve to try and be Number 1!!!! -Carrie
I resolve to let Carrie be Number 1!
So I can stand behind her. Better view. -Tramp
**********************************************************
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