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I actually told this joke to a couple of Amish woodcutters.
They didn’t appreciate it.
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Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods.
A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch: “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The birch says he cannot tell.
Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree.
He replies: “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of Ash I have ever put my pecker in.”
But do they really need these down South?
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I actually told this joke to a couple of Amish woodcutters.
They didn’t appreciate it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods.
A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch: “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The birch says he cannot tell.
Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree.
He replies: “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of Ash I have ever put my pecker in.”
But do they really need these down South?
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.
.
.
What is going on with these people?
And why don’t they just go to Iraq and do this?
I’ll buy the ticket for them!
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Officials: Three shot dead at Missouri shopping center
11:07 p.m. EDT, April 29, 2007
A gunman already suspected of wounding a police officer shot and killed two people and wounded at least two others at a shopping center in Kansas City, Missouri, before being gunned down by police, authorities said Sunday.
“It appears that he came to the mall to shoot people,” said Sgt. Tony Sanders, a Kansas City police spokesman. “Whether it was random or not we do not know.”
Police are also investigating any connection the man may have had to the death of an elderly woman whose body was found in her home a few miles away, police said.
Sanders said the man shot and killed two people in the parking lot of Ward Parkway Center, about nine miles south of downtown, about 3:30 p.m. He continued into the mall, where witnesses said he fired several more shots with what appeared to be a sawed-off shotgun, but police later determined to be a rifle.
SOURCE: CNN
No, it doesn’t shred the hamster!
But now the little guy can earn his keep.
Your documents are shredder with no energy cost and Hammy can make his own bedding.
The Hamster Shredder makes sense, but it’s still funny!
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From Carrie.
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Question:
What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer:
Princess Diana’s death.
Question:
How come?
Answer:
An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky,
(check the bottle before you change the spelling,) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; This is sent to you by a American, using Bill Gates’s technology, and you’re probably reading this on your computer, that uses Taiwanese That, my friends, is Globalization!
treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.
chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexican illegals…..
What is going on with these people?
And why don’t they just go to Iraq and do this?
I’ll buy the ticket for them!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Officials: Three shot dead at Missouri shopping center
11:07 p.m. EDT, April 29, 2007
A gunman already suspected of wounding a police officer shot and killed two people and wounded at least two others at a shopping center in Kansas City, Missouri, before being gunned down by police, authorities said Sunday.
“It appears that he came to the mall to shoot people,” said Sgt. Tony Sanders, a Kansas City police spokesman. “Whether it was random or not we do not know.”
Police are also investigating any connection the man may have had to the death of an elderly woman whose body was found in her home a few miles away, police said.
Sanders said the man shot and killed two people in the parking lot of Ward Parkway Center, about nine miles south of downtown, about 3:30 p.m. He continued into the mall, where witnesses said he fired several more shots with what appeared to be a sawed-off shotgun, but police later determined to be a rifle.
SOURCE: CNN
No, it doesn’t shred the hamster!
But now the little guy can earn his keep.
Your documents are shredder with no energy cost and Hammy can make his own bedding.
The Hamster Shredder makes sense, but it’s still funny!
.
.
From Carrie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Question:
What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer:
Princess Diana’s death.
Question:
How come?
Answer:
An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky,
(check the bottle before you change the spelling,) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; This is sent to you by a American, using Bill Gates’s technology, and you’re probably reading this on your computer, that uses Taiwanese That, my friends, is Globalization!
treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.
chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexican illegals…..
In the ‘Stupid Sign’ category, this rates at least that high.
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Yes, you too.
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Remember Fabio?
Fabio wants to call you!
He needs to borrow a few bucks.
I’m kidding!
Here is a means to let you send a personalized phone call from Fabio to whomever you choose.
Even yourself!
In the ‘Stupid Sign’ category, this rates at least that high.
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Yes, you too.
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From Carrie.
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BUTCH THE ROOSTER
John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens, called pullets) and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn’t perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.
The farmer’s favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all!
John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
But to Farmer John’s amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the county fair and Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result…
The judges not only awarded Butch the “No Bell Piece Prize”, but they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise” as well.
Clearly Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a Politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted Awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention?
From Corrine.
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Road signs and what they really mean…
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