You are currently browsing the monthly archive for May 2007.
From Corrine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I found it…
And you thought there was no such place, huh????
.
.
.
.
You will all be so pleased to know this…….
How many times have we been “up there without one!”
From Corrine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blonde goes into Geno’s pet shop in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign on the box says: “Sex Frogs! Only $50 each! Comes with complete instructions.”
The blonde excitedly looks around to see if anybody is watching her. Certain that she is not being watched, she whispers to Geno behind the counter, “I’ll take one of the sex frogs!” As Geno packages the frog, he quietly says to her, “Just follow the instructions.” The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.
As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does exactly what the instructions tell her:
1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightgown.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog beside you and the frog will do what he has been trained to do.
She quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, nothing happens. The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, “If you have any problems, please call the store.”
So our blonde heroine calls the pet shop. Geno says, “I’ll be right over.”
Within minutes, Geno is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, “See, I’ve done everything according to the instructions, but the damned frog just sits there!”
Geno, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares into its eyes and says very sternly, “Look, I’m only going to show you how to do this one more time!”
From Carrie.
Those terrorists sure are ugly, aren’t they?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This just in!
.
.
.
It’s a terrorosieist!
Have you ever done something you immediately regretted?
Let me tell you about it.
I had a toothache. This tooth had been bothering me for about two weeks now. Being a man, I didn’t do anything about it until it was ready to kill me. Yesterday, it was ready to kill me.
So I called the dentist and told him I needed something done right now! He said something that amounted to ‘not right now’. I told him if he didn’t do something right now, I would. He stuck to his guns. And I stuck to mine.
Yep, I pulled my tooth myself.
And yep, I immediately regretted it.
Still do.
Sometimes, I am an idiot.
From Carrie.
This is the second Republican I’ve ever liked. The first was Reagan.
And no, I’m not a Democrat either.
It’s just that Republicans are usually a lot like, well, Bush!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
$104,655.60 Ad in the Washington Post
Here is someone with the money to fund a rebuttal to what Howard Dean , Democratic National Committee Chairman, said recently that many Republican have never done an honest day’s work in their life. The following full page ad was placed in the Washington Post by a businessman named George J. Esseff, Sr. He paid $104,655.60 to run the ad and only did it because he is sick and tired of the way that “the rich” are portrayed by liberals these days. It is a great read.
************************************************************
************************************************************
Maybe you’re a Republican?
In today’s America ask a growing number of high school and college students, their teachers and professors, the self-anointed media elite and/or hard working men and women of all ethnicities, the question, “What is a Republican?” and you’ll be told “.. a rich, greedy, egotistical individual, motivated only by money and the desire to accumulate more and more of it, at the expense of the environment, the working poor….and all whom they exploit…”I am a Republican – And I am none of those things….and I don’t know any Republicans who are!
WHAT I AM first and foremost, is a loving husband of some 52 plus years, the father of four and an American who’s proud of his country…and his country’s heritage
WHAT I AM is the grandson of immigrants who risked every-thing, including their lives and those of their children, to escape tyranny in search of freedom.WHAT I AM is a man who grew up during the Depression and witnessed first hand the effects of the Stock Market crash and the soup lines that followed. I watched as both my parents and grand parents, who had very little themselves, share what food they had with a half dozen other families, who had even less.
WHAT I AM is someone who worked his way through college by holding down three and four jobs at a time and then used that education to build a better life.
WHAT I AM is a husband who at age 24 started his own business for the “privilege” of working 60, 70 and 80 hours a week, risking everything I had including my health, in search of a better life for myself and my loved ones.
WHAT I AM is a businessman whose blood, sweat and tears….and plenty of them…, made it possible for me to provide a secure living not only for my family and myself, but also for literally hundreds of my employees throughout the years. Employees who in turn were able to buy their own homes, raise their own families and give back to their communities and their country.
WHAT I AM is a man who believes in God; a God who has blessed this country… and all for which it stands.
WHAT I AM is someone who knows, if you doubt miracles exist in today’s world, you need only to look into the face of those who received them….and the eyes of those who give them.
WHAT I AM is an American who’s proud that his President embraces a belief in God; proud of a President who understands, as “politically incorrect” as it may be, there is evil in this world and for the security and safety of all freedom loving people everywhere, it must be confronted…and it must be defeated.
WHAT I AM is an American who takes comfort in the knowledge that our President refuses to allow decisions concerning the very safety and security of this nation, to be governed by the political whims of foreign governments.
WHAT I AM is tired of hearing from leading Democrats who see only negativity in America ; racism in her people; class warfare in her society and “political incorrectness” in her character.
WHAT I AM is a former democrat who now understands that it is the soldier and not the reporter that guarantees us our freedoms of press, speech and dissent.
WHAT I AM is a man who believes in the sanctity of life. A man who is repulsed by the pandering of the political left for votes, at the expense of the unborn.
WHAT I AM is a husband and father who believes in the sanctity of marriage and the preservation of the family unit.
WHAT I AM is a ex-movie goer who is repulsed by those insecure, socially inept, elementary thinking, ego-inflated “entertainers” who have appointed themselves “experts” in the fields of national security and geo-politics and then use their forum to attack this nation, its leaders and its actions….much to the delight and encouragement of our enemies.
WHAT I AM is an American who understands the difference between “censorship” and “choice.” Evidently, these individuals do not, because when these same “celebrities” receive public ridicule for their offensive actions, the first thing they yell is “censorship.”What they seem incapable of understanding is…the right of free speech and dissent is shared equally by those offended…as well as those who offend. I support and will continue to support those films and performers whom I choose to and refuse to support those I don’t. It is my right as an American a right I will continue to enthusiastically exercise.
WHAT I AM is a voter, tired of politicians who every time their voting records are subjected to public scrutiny, try to divert attention from their political and legislative failures by accusing their opponents of “attack ads” and “negative campaigning”….and the news media who allow them to get away with it.
WHAT I AM is a Catholic who loves his God and his Faith….and who’s been taught to respect all religions whose teachings are based in love, peace and charity. As such, I am embarrassed and ashamed of those individuals in both private and public life whose decisions and actions are devoid of any sense of character or morals; individuals who are only driven by what’s best for them….rather than what’s right… often times at the expense of many….including our national security.
WHAT I AM is a realist who understands that the terrorist attack that murdered hundreds of innocent Russian children could have occurred here, in our heartland. That’s why I sincerely believe America needs now, more than ever, a President who sees with a clear and focused vision and who speaks with a voice when heard by both friend and foe alike is understood, respected and believed.
WHAT I AM is eternally grateful to Ronald Reagan for having the bravery to speak out against Communism and the courage of his convictions in leading the fight to defeat it; and George W. Bush for the vision, courage, conviction and leadership he has shown in America ’s war on terrorism amidst both the constant and vicious, personal and political attacks both he and his family are made to endure.
WHAT I AM is a human being, full of numerous faults and failures, but a man nonetheless who though not always successful has continually strived to do “what’s right” instead of “what’s easy.” A man who is challenging the religious leaders of all faiths, to not only preach to their congregations the fundamentals of “what’s right” and “what’s wrong,” but to also then hold them accountable for their actions in both the public and private sectors.
WHAT I AM is disgusted with the Courts who on one hand call the murder of a pregnant woman a “double homicide,” but then refer to the abortion of her baby as “pro-choice”.
WHAT I AM is someone deeply troubled by a political party which embraces a candidate whose primary “leadership” qualities center around his protesting of the Vietnam war and his labeling the honorable men and women who fought in it, (50,000 of whom gave their lives in that action), as rapists, and war criminals ( John Kerry ).That same political party then stepped forward this year to block the appearance of a true Vietnam war hero, retired Admiral and former United States Senator, Jeremiah Denton, (a man who spent seven years and seven torturous months in a North Vietnam prison), from speaking before an open session of the California legislature as part of that state’s 4th of July celebration. The reason Democrats gave for refusing to allow this American hero to speak before their state legislature was because of the “conservative” nature of his views. As an American, that troubles me deeply….as well it should you. (Are you listening Mr. D?)
WHAT I AM is a man who feels the need to spend, ONE HUNDRED & FOUR THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED & FIFTY FIVE DOLLARS ($104, 655.60, tax paid) of his own money, to purchase this advertisement, in order to set the story straight. Some may say this money would have been better spent feeding the world’s poor. At the risk of sounding self-serving, as an American and as a Republican, for the last six decades of my life, I have done exactly that…and more. Following the examples of my parents and grand parents, I have used my earnings to feed the poor, shelter the homeless, provide housing for the elderly and medical care for the sick…..and continue to do so…and I’m not alone in that work.
WHAT I AM is someone who is paying for this announcement at my sole expense in hopes of opening the eyes of those led blindly by ill-informed elements of our great nation, who, through either ignorance, or malicious intent, repeatedly attack and belittle those of us who belong to a political party that holds true to the belief, “The rights of the governed, exceed the power of the government.” For those interested, I am speaking only as a tax-paying individual who is in no way associated with the Republican National Committee, nor with any of its directors, or delegates.
WHAT I AM is a man who understands, “the American way of life” is a message of self-empowerment for all.
WHAT I AM is an American who is grateful that our nation gives each of us the opportunity of self-determination and the right to benefit from the fruits of self achievement.
WHAT I AM is an American who wants to preserve that way of life for all who seek it.
WHAT I AM is blessed to be an American…. and proud to be a Republican.
Pretty powerful stuff.
From Carrie.
Those terrorists sure are ugly, aren’t they?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This just in!
.
.
.
It’s a terrorosieist!
Have you ever done something you immediately regretted?
Let me tell you about it.
I had a toothache. This tooth had been bothering me for about two weeks now. Being a man, I didn’t do anything about it until it was ready to kill me. Yesterday, it was ready to kill me.
So I called the dentist and told him I needed something done right now! He said something that amounted to ‘not right now’. I told him if he didn’t do something right now, I would. He stuck to his guns. And I stuck to mine.
Yep, I pulled my tooth myself.
And yep, I immediately regretted it.
Still do.
Sometimes, I am an idiot.
From Carrie.
This is the second Republican I’ve ever liked. The first was Reagan.
And no, I’m not a Democrat either.
It’s just that Republicans are usually a lot like, well, Bush!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
$104,655.60 Ad in the Washington Post
Here is someone with the money to fund a rebuttal to what Howard Dean , Democratic National Committee Chairman, said recently that many Republican have never done an honest day’s work in their life. The following full page ad was placed in the Washington Post by a businessman named George J. Esseff, Sr. He paid $104,655.60 to run the ad and only did it because he is sick and tired of the way that “the rich” are portrayed by liberals these days. It is a great read.
************************************************************
************************************************************
Maybe you’re a Republican?
In today’s America ask a growing number of high school and college students, their teachers and professors, the self-anointed media elite and/or hard working men and women of all ethnicities, the question, “What is a Republican?” and you’ll be told “.. a rich, greedy, egotistical individual, motivated only by money and the desire to accumulate more and more of it, at the expense of the environment, the working poor….and all whom they exploit…”I am a Republican – And I am none of those things….and I don’t know any Republicans who are!
WHAT I AM first and foremost, is a loving husband of some 52 plus years, the father of four and an American who’s proud of his country…and his country’s heritage
WHAT I AM is the grandson of immigrants who risked every-thing, including their lives and those of their children, to escape tyranny in search of freedom.WHAT I AM is a man who grew up during the Depression and witnessed first hand the effects of the Stock Market crash and the soup lines that followed. I watched as both my parents and grand parents, who had very little themselves, share what food they had with a half dozen other families, who had even less.
WHAT I AM is someone who worked his way through college by holding down three and four jobs at a time and then used that education to build a better life.
WHAT I AM is a husband who at age 24 started his own business for the “privilege” of working 60, 70 and 80 hours a week, risking everything I had including my health, in search of a better life for myself and my loved ones.
WHAT I AM is a businessman whose blood, sweat and tears….and plenty of them…, made it possible for me to provide a secure living not only for my family and myself, but also for literally hundreds of my employees throughout the years. Employees who in turn were able to buy their own homes, raise their own families and give back to their communities and their country.
WHAT I AM is a man who believes in God; a God who has blessed this country… and all for which it stands.
WHAT I AM is someone who knows, if you doubt miracles exist in today’s world, you need only to look into the face of those who received them….and the eyes of those who give them.
WHAT I AM is an American who’s proud that his President embraces a belief in God; proud of a President who understands, as “politically incorrect” as it may be, there is evil in this world and for the security and safety of all freedom loving people everywhere, it must be confronted…and it must be defeated.
WHAT I AM is an American who takes comfort in the knowledge that our President refuses to allow decisions concerning the very safety and security of this nation, to be governed by the political whims of foreign governments.
WHAT I AM is tired of hearing from leading Democrats who see only negativity in America ; racism in her people; class warfare in her society and “political incorrectness” in her character.
WHAT I AM is a former democrat who now understands that it is the soldier and not the reporter that guarantees us our freedoms of press, speech and dissent.
WHAT I AM is a man who believes in the sanctity of life. A man who is repulsed by the pandering of the political left for votes, at the expense of the unborn.
WHAT I AM is a husband and father who believes in the sanctity of marriage and the preservation of the family unit.
WHAT I AM is a ex-movie goer who is repulsed by those insecure, socially inept, elementary thinking, ego-inflated “entertainers” who have appointed themselves “experts” in the fields of national security and geo-politics and then use their forum to attack this nation, its leaders and its actions….much to the delight and encouragement of our enemies.
WHAT I AM is an American who understands the difference between “censorship” and “choice.” Evidently, these individuals do not, because when these same “celebrities” receive public ridicule for their offensive actions, the first thing they yell is “censorship.”What they seem incapable of understanding is…the right of free speech and dissent is shared equally by those offended…as well as those who offend. I support and will continue to support those films and performers whom I choose to and refuse to support those I don’t. It is my right as an American a right I will continue to enthusiastically exercise.
WHAT I AM is a voter, tired of politicians who every time their voting records are subjected to public scrutiny, try to divert attention from their political and legislative failures by accusing their opponents of “attack ads” and “negative campaigning”….and the news media who allow them to get away with it.
WHAT I AM is a Catholic who loves his God and his Faith….and who’s been taught to respect all religions whose teachings are based in love, peace and charity. As such, I am embarrassed and ashamed of those individuals in both private and public life whose decisions and actions are devoid of any sense of character or morals; individuals who are only driven by what’s best for them….rather than what’s right… often times at the expense of many….including our national security.
WHAT I AM is a realist who understands that the terrorist attack that murdered hundreds of innocent Russian children could have occurred here, in our heartland. That’s why I sincerely believe America needs now, more than ever, a President who sees with a clear and focused vision and who speaks with a voice when heard by both friend and foe alike is understood, respected and believed.
WHAT I AM is eternally grateful to Ronald Reagan for having the bravery to speak out against Communism and the courage of his convictions in leading the fight to defeat it; and George W. Bush for the vision, courage, conviction and leadership he has shown in America ’s war on terrorism amidst both the constant and vicious, personal and political attacks both he and his family are made to endure.
WHAT I AM is a human being, full of numerous faults and failures, but a man nonetheless who though not always successful has continually strived to do “what’s right” instead of “what’s easy.” A man who is challenging the religious leaders of all faiths, to not only preach to their congregations the fundamentals of “what’s right” and “what’s wrong,” but to also then hold them accountable for their actions in both the public and private sectors.
WHAT I AM is disgusted with the Courts who on one hand call the murder of a pregnant woman a “double homicide,” but then refer to the abortion of her baby as “pro-choice”.
WHAT I AM is someone deeply troubled by a political party which embraces a candidate whose primary “leadership” qualities center around his protesting of the Vietnam war and his labeling the honorable men and women who fought in it, (50,000 of whom gave their lives in that action), as rapists, and war criminals ( John Kerry ).That same political party then stepped forward this year to block the appearance of a true Vietnam war hero, retired Admiral and former United States Senator, Jeremiah Denton, (a man who spent seven years and seven torturous months in a North Vietnam prison), from speaking before an open session of the California legislature as part of that state’s 4th of July celebration. The reason Democrats gave for refusing to allow this American hero to speak before their state legislature was because of the “conservative” nature of his views. As an American, that troubles me deeply….as well it should you. (Are you listening Mr. D?)
WHAT I AM is a man who feels the need to spend, ONE HUNDRED & FOUR THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED & FIFTY FIVE DOLLARS ($104, 655.60, tax paid) of his own money, to purchase this advertisement, in order to set the story straight. Some may say this money would have been better spent feeding the world’s poor. At the risk of sounding self-serving, as an American and as a Republican, for the last six decades of my life, I have done exactly that…and more. Following the examples of my parents and grand parents, I have used my earnings to feed the poor, shelter the homeless, provide housing for the elderly and medical care for the sick…..and continue to do so…and I’m not alone in that work.
WHAT I AM is someone who is paying for this announcement at my sole expense in hopes of opening the eyes of those led blindly by ill-informed elements of our great nation, who, through either ignorance, or malicious intent, repeatedly attack and belittle those of us who belong to a political party that holds true to the belief, “The rights of the governed, exceed the power of the government.” For those interested, I am speaking only as a tax-paying individual who is in no way associated with the Republican National Committee, nor with any of its directors, or delegates.
WHAT I AM is a man who understands, “the American way of life” is a message of self-empowerment for all.
WHAT I AM is an American who is grateful that our nation gives each of us the opportunity of self-determination and the right to benefit from the fruits of self achievement.
WHAT I AM is an American who wants to preserve that way of life for all who seek it.
WHAT I AM is blessed to be an American…. and proud to be a Republican.
Pretty powerful stuff.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Lincoln’s secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy’s secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners.
Both successors were named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are comprised of fifteen letters.
Lincoln was shot at the theatre named ‘Kennedy’.
Kennedy was shot in a car called ‘Lincoln’.
Booth ran from the theatre and was caught in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theatre.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was in Marilyn Monroe.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Lincoln’s secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy’s secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners.
Both successors were named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are comprised of fifteen letters.
Lincoln was shot at the theatre named ‘Kennedy’.
Kennedy was shot in a car called ‘Lincoln’.
Booth ran from the theatre and was caught in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theatre.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was in Marilyn Monroe.
From Corrine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords containing “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
From the greatest President in our lifetime.
*******************
“Memorial Day is an opportunity to remember that those who died in the defense of our country were serving an even higher cause. As we honor their memory today, let us pledge that their lives, their sacrifices, their valor shall be remembered for as long as God gives life to this nation. As a tribute to their sacrifice, let us renew our resolve to remain strong enough to deter aggression, wise enough to preserve and protect our freedom, and thoughtful enough to promote lasting peace throughout the world.” – Ronald Reagan
Here is a new way to keep yourself entertained!
And it’s from Sweet!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I just found a new game and it deals with poo….my area of expertize….
this one is for “A”…………..
Sweet
xoxoxoxo
Crapping In a Bucket Game (the high building version)
Crapping in a bucket from a very high building may not be a very catchy name; but it sure as hell is an addictive sport.
The rules are self-explanatory but I will try to explain. What it means you to do is place a bucket at the base of a very high building (say the empire state building) go to the top, drop your pants; perch your bare ass over the edge and squeeze out a steamer aiming for the bucket below.
Points
Getting it in the bucket (a hole in one): 15 pts
Hitting the rim of the bucket (a rimmer): 10 pts
Hitting within an inch of the bucket (a pavement cake): 5 pts
Further away (a man made meteor): 0 pts
From Corrine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords containing “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
From the greatest President in our lifetime.
*******************
“Memorial Day is an opportunity to remember that those who died in the defense of our country were serving an even higher cause. As we honor their memory today, let us pledge that their lives, their sacrifices, their valor shall be remembered for as long as God gives life to this nation. As a tribute to their sacrifice, let us renew our resolve to remain strong enough to deter aggression, wise enough to preserve and protect our freedom, and thoughtful enough to promote lasting peace throughout the world.” – Ronald Reagan
Here is a new way to keep yourself entertained!
And it’s from Sweet!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I just found a new game and it deals with poo….my area of expertize….
this one is for “A”…………..
Sweet
xoxoxoxo
Crapping In a Bucket Game (the high building version)
Crapping in a bucket from a very high building may not be a very catchy name; but it sure as hell is an addictive sport.
The rules are self-explanatory but I will try to explain. What it means you to do is place a bucket at the base of a very high building (say the empire state building) go to the top, drop your pants; perch your bare ass over the edge and squeeze out a steamer aiming for the bucket below.
Points
Getting it in the bucket (a hole in one): 15 pts
Hitting the rim of the bucket (a rimmer): 10 pts
Hitting within an inch of the bucket (a pavement cake): 5 pts
Further away (a man made meteor): 0 pts
Corrine dug up a list containing some interesting uses for Vodka that has been circulating on the ‘net.
Not all of them are true, but a couple are useful.
Corrine has included the truth about each item on this list.
I know of one other use that works. I can personally attest to it myself!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Many Ways to Use Vodka
1. If you soak a plaster or a bandage with vodka you can remove it from your body smooth and painless.
This is true.
2. You can clear your faucets with vodka. Just splash some vodka on a faucet covered with some stain and after a few minutes you can wipe it with a dry cloth – the stain would be gone.
Bullshit.
3. You can clean your glasses or sunglasses lens with vodka.
It’s better to use a lens cleaner.
4. After you shaved put your razor in a glass of vodka. The blades would save well and also they would be disinfected.
Possibly.
5. If you can’t unscrew a rusty bolt spray some vodka on it, wait a few seconds and here we go.
Possibly, but special liquids are much better, I think.
6. Soak a tissue paper in vodka and then clean your face with it; it’s a superior cosmetics remover.
And skin dryer.
7. If you pour a cap of vodka to your favorite shampoo it would become more effective, would clean your hair better and would stimulate the hair growths.
Bullshit. It’ll dry and damage you hair.
8. If you spray vodka across the place where insects live, they would die and never return.
False. Vodka is not strong enough.
9. If your back or neck aches you can soak a scarf with vodka and tie it across your back or neck the pain would be gone in a few minutes.
False.
10. If your feet stink, you can rub them with vodka, the smell would disappear.
Perhaps. Vodka is not a bad disinfectant.
11. If you got bitten by a jellyfish use a vodka soaked plaster, it helps.
This is true. Whiskey has been used when a jellyfish had bitten someone.
12. If you experience a tooth pain and don’t want to visit a dentist right now, just put a small plug soaked with vodka between a cheek and a tooth and you’ll be saved.
In that case, Cognac and Brandy are much better. They contains additional narcotic substances.
SOURCE: EnglishRussia
From Southern Girl.
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On Jeopardy the other night, the final question was, “How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the Tomb of the Unknowns
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All three missed it
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This is really an awesome sight to watch if you’ve never had the chance.
Very fascinating.
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Tomb of the Unknown Soldier
1. How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the Tomb of the Unknowns and why?
21 steps. It alludes to the twenty-one-gun salute, which is the highest honor given any military or foreign dignitary.
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2. How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why?
21 seconds for the same reason as answer number 1
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3. Why are his gloves wet?
His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.
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4. Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time and if not, why not?
He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder.
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5. How often are the guards changed?
Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.
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6. What are the physical traits of the guard limited to?
For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5′ 10″ and 6′ 2″ tall and his waist size cannot exceed 30″.
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Other requirements of the Guard:
They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives.
They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform {fighting} or the tomb in any way.
After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.
The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt.
There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror.
The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone, nor watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery. A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred.
Among the notables are: President Taft, Joe E. Lewis {the boxer} and Medal of Honor winner Audie Murphy, {the most decorated soldier of WWII} of Hollywood fame.
Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for guard duty.
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ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD,
AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM.
In 2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was approaching Washington, DC, our US Senate/House took 2 days off with anticipation of the storm. On the ABC evening news, it was reported that because of the dangers from the hurricane, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment. They respectfully declined the offer, “No way, Sir!” Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment, it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a serviceperson. The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930.
God Bless and keep them.
IN GOD WE TRUST
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