You are currently browsing the daily archive for February 5th, 2008.
“People ask me who I am. I always tell them, ‘I’m nobody. And nobody’s perfect. So I’m perfect!’” – Tramp
From April.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
New 2008 IRS pencil sharpener.
.
Every U.S. taxpayer will be mailed one of these with the new 2008 IRS tax forms.
Be a-watchin’ in your mail box!
.
.
From Irene.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some Cyanide.
The pharmacist said, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, “Lord have mercy, I can’t give you cyanide to murder your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license, they’ll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!”
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, you didn’t tell me you had a prescription. “
From Lil Sis, Colleen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This Alzheimer’s Test was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University .
.
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.
The average person over 50 years of age cannot do it!
.
1. This is this cat.
2 This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is fifty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.
.
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I betcha’ you cannot resist passing it on . . .
From Lil Sis, Colleen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called ‘Yam.’ Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn’t get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like ‘Hot Potato,’ and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.
Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her! But on the other hand she wouldn’t stay home and become a Couch Potato either. She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe, Mr and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland . And the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. And when she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn’t get scalloped. Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn’t associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, ‘Frito Lay.’
Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that’s Potato University) so that when she graduated she’d really be in the Chips. But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw!
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn’t possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he’s just……
.
.
.
Are you ready for this?
.
.
.
.
.
Are you sure? * *
.
.
.
.
.
OK! Here it is! * ** *
.
.
.
.
.
A COMMON TATER
Recent Comments