Tramps Riverbank II

A New Beatles Album?

Tramp — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 03:41:07 +0000

There is a new album out by The Beatles.

Kinda.

There really is a new Beatles album, but it is not quite legitimate.

The consensus among those on the ’net is as follows, and I agree.

1. It really is The Beatles.

2. It seems to be an unauthorized remix.

3. It is a good album.

It seems a fellow has made his own remix and concocted a wild story about its origins.

His story is somewhat entertaining but his mix is very entertaining.

See for yourself at his site called The Beatles Never Broke Up

Quote

Tramp — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 03:18:31 +0000

“I lent a friend of mine money for plastic surgery, now I don’t know what he looks like.” — Freaky Freddie

It’s Almost Here, Me Hearties!

Tramp — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 16:19:44 +0000

Yes, tomorrow is Talk Like A Pirate Day.

The official website is here.

This year CNN even did a story about it.

Avast me hearties! And prepare ye selves!

2001: A Space Oddity

Tramp — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 21:25:46 +0000

Courtesy of Rob.

Curtains

Tramp — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 20:43:08 +0000

From Trev.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CURTAIN RODS

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house.

The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house.

She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home………

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!!!

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON’T YOU?

Here’s A Switch

Tramp — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 21:15:37 +0000

“Putpockets” give a little extra cash

LONDON (Reuters) – Visitors to London always have to be on the look out for pickpockets, but now there’s another, more positive phenomenon on the loose — putpockets.

Aware that people are suffering in the economic crisis, 20 former pickpockets have turned over a new leaf and are now trawling London’s tourist sites slipping money back into unsuspecting pockets.

Anything from 5 pounds ($8US) to 20 pound notes is being surreptitiously deposited in unguarded pockets or open handbags in Trafalgar Square, Covent Garden and other busy spots.

The initiative, which runs until the end of August in London before being rolled out countrywide, is being funded by a broadbrand provider, which says it wants to brighten up people’s lives in unusual ways.

“It feels good to give something back for a change — and Britons certainly need it in the current economic climate,” said Chris Fitch, a former pickpocket who now heads TalkTalk’s putpocketing initiative.

“Every time I put money back in someone’s pocket, I feel less guilty about the fact I spent many years taking it out.”

London’s police have been briefed about the plan, which will see at least 100,000 pounds given away.

Death By Chocolate

Tramp — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 18:36:49 +0000

Man dies after falling into vat of chocolate in NJ

CAMDEN, N.J. – Authorities say a man died after falling into a vat of melted chocolate in a New Jersey processing plant.

The Camden County prosecutor’s office identified the victim as 29-year-old Vincent Smith II of Camden. He was a temporary worker at the Cocoa Services Inc. plant.

The accident happened Wednesday morning as Smith was loading chocolate into a vat where it’s melted and mixed before being shipped elsewhere to be made into candy.

Prosecutor’s spokesman Jason Laughlin says a co-worker tried to shut off the machine and two others tried to pull Smith out of the 8-foot-deep vat. He was hit and fatally injured by the agitator that mixes the chocolate.

Cocoa Services hires a second company – Lyons and Sons – to do the mixing.

Carrie Is Lowering The Bar

Tramp — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 16:18:30 +0000

From Carrie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

http://www.loweringthebar.net/

Assault With A Salted Snack Food?

Tramp — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 16:08:31 +0000

Tenn. couple accused of assault using Cheetos

SHELBYVILLE, Tenn. – Authorities said a couple got into a fight using Cheetos. The Bedford County Sheriff’s Department said a 40-year-old man and 44-year-old woman became involved in a ‘verbal altercation.’ Somehow, the orange puffy snacks were used in the assault.

Deputies said they were charged with domestic assault. No one was hurt.

According to the Shelbyville Times-Gazette, both posted bond of $2,500.

___

Information from: Shelbyville Times-Gazette

I’ve Heard That Five Will Get You Ten, But…

Tramp — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 07:40:06 +0000

15 months for chicken suit attack – HORNCASTLE, England (UPI) — A British man who admitted biting off another man’s ear while dressed in a chicken suit was sentenced to 15months in jail. James Key, 20, admitted in Lincoln Crown Court he attacked Benjamin Miller, 23, after chasing him from a nightclub in Horncastle, England, The Sun reported. Key, who was dressed as a chicken at the time of the attack, pleaded guilty to wounding Miller and assaulting the victim’s girlfriend.