Guy Joke

This is a classic guy joke.


Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says, “Someone should go and tell his wife.”
Bill says, “OK, I’m pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I’ll do it.”
2 hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack. Charlie says, “Where did you get that, Bill?”
“Steve’s wife gave it to me.”
“That’s unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer.”
Bill says, “Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, ‘You must be Steve’s widow.'”
She said, “‘No, I’m not a widow.”
And I said, “Wanna bet me a six-pack?”

Dumb Terrorist

Before 911, I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed this news item as much as I do now. Don’t you wish all terrorists were like this one?

Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn’t pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with “return to sender” stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

Tough Granny

This is a true story about 93-year-old Lithuanian woman. I think it’s funny. I bet the crook doesn’t.

Battling nonagenarian grabs burglar by ‘nads
Those who like their burglars grasped firmly by the testicles, read on.
A battling 93-year-old Lithuanian woman has thwarted an attempted burglary by grasping one of the miscreants by the testicles so hard that the sobbing robber required hospital treatment, Ananova reports Soja Popova, from Klaipeda, answered the door to two young men who promptly knocked her to the ground. The fighting granny quickly grabbed one of them by the nuts and squeezed “with all my force as hard as I could”, as she later told the cops.
Popova continued: “He started screaming like an animal and his friend was trying to pull him free, but I have a grip like iron.” The man’s howling and his mate’s protestations that the old girl should lay off alerted neighbor’s who called in law enforcement. The two broke free but were cuffed by police after escaping the attacking nonagenarian through a bedroom window. One was taken to hospital, the other to the lock-up. A police officer noted: “They would not have got far, one of them could hardly walk and seemed pleased when he saw the police car. He demanded that he be taken to hospital because he was in so much pain.”Popova attributes her grip of steel to years of milking goats. They breed their grannies tough out there in Lithuania, make no mistake.

Duh.

I’m going to call this guy Buzz Lightyear.

Guy Joke

This is a classic guy joke.


Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says, “Someone should go and tell his wife.”
Bill says, “OK, I’m pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I’ll do it.”
2 hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack. Charlie says, “Where did you get that, Bill?”
“Steve’s wife gave it to me.”
“That’s unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer.”
Bill says, “Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, ‘You must be Steve’s widow.'”
She said, “‘No, I’m not a widow.”
And I said, “Wanna bet me a six-pack?”

Dumb Terrorist

Before 911, I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed this news item as much as I do now. Don’t you wish all terrorists were like this one?

Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn’t pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with “return to sender” stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

Tough Granny

This is a true story about 93-year-old Lithuanian woman. I think it’s funny. I bet the crook doesn’t.

Battling nonagenarian grabs burglar by ‘nads
Those who like their burglars grasped firmly by the testicles, read on.
A battling 93-year-old Lithuanian woman has thwarted an attempted burglary by grasping one of the miscreants by the testicles so hard that the sobbing robber required hospital treatment, Ananova reports Soja Popova, from Klaipeda, answered the door to two young men who promptly knocked her to the ground. The fighting granny quickly grabbed one of them by the nuts and squeezed “with all my force as hard as I could”, as she later told the cops.
Popova continued: “He started screaming like an animal and his friend was trying to pull him free, but I have a grip like iron.” The man’s howling and his mate’s protestations that the old girl should lay off alerted neighbor’s who called in law enforcement. The two broke free but were cuffed by police after escaping the attacking nonagenarian through a bedroom window. One was taken to hospital, the other to the lock-up. A police officer noted: “They would not have got far, one of them could hardly walk and seemed pleased when he saw the police car. He demanded that he be taken to hospital because he was in so much pain.”Popova attributes her grip of steel to years of milking goats. They breed their grannies tough out there in Lithuania, make no mistake.