A fella at Red Tongue, Ira Hirsh, received his first hate email from this fella. I like his response. It is listed here in it’s entirety. Red Tongue is a great site. The post referred to is funny and is posted here. The original email received by Ira cannot be posted here, but can be found on his site.


From: “ira hirsh” Print View

Date: 20 Dec 16:25 (PST)
To: ewagner10@*******.com
Subject: RE: miniature golf course rant
Are you going to be my penpal? How about giving me
your phone number? We can talk about all kinds of good
stuff. As for the death thing, Eric, we all die. Even
you do. At some point every living thing must end its
existence. So, what did you do today? Did you go to
the beach? What’s your favorite color? Do you watch
much television? What’s your favorite show? What’s
your favorite sport? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you
keep in contact with your parents? Do you like to go
to parties? What kind of music do you listen to?
What’s your religion? Do you believe in God? Have you
ever gone skiing? What’s your favorite book? Do you
like art? Do you like comic books? Do you moisturize
after bathing? How long have you lived here? Why are
you obsessed with overweight people? Are you
overweight? Do people make fun of you? Do your
manboobs make you feel sad? Did the bad boys pull your
underwear up your butt crack again? Do you feel
powerless? Do you feel like the entire weight of the
world is upon your sloping shoulders? It isn’t, my
little buddy. You can have your manboobs surgically
removed. Your stretch marks can be soothed with
moisturizer. Your buck teeth can be fixed with braces.
Your knock knees can be repaired with surgery. Stop
wearing your pants so high up. The girls don’t like
that. Change your underwear at least twice a week.
Isn’t it getting crusty down there?
Take care, my pal,
Ira