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Stay tuned next week for ‘Who Is More Stupid’.
Here are some of the contestants on the next show.
Welcome, ladies and gentleman, to the new game show that is sweeping the nation. I call it ‘Who Is More Stupid’.
Our first contestant is 24-year-old Cory Favreau, who got into an argument over contestants on the show ‘American Idol’. So serious was Cory about his favorite contestant that he hit his friend over the head with a sharpened, cross-shaped object attached to a bicycle chain for disagreeing with his choice. You don’t diss his contestant. I should also mention that his friend was also his mother.
Our next contestant is 18 year old cooking wizard Sean Davey, who set a washing basket on top of the electric stove. The heated burner set fire to the clothes, which set alight a nearby bag of shopping which caused a can of deodorant to explode, blowing out windows and lifting the roof. The blaze caused $70,000 of damage to the house. Learn to eat out, Sean.
Our third contestant is a 24 year old man who wishes to remain anonymous. It is actually his wife who is in the running. She says he was cutting a relative’s hair Tuesday night and apparently wasn’t doing a great job. She took offense to this for some reason and stabbed her husband in the chest with a knife. Heck of a tip for a free haircut.
But these contestants are going home empty handed tonight as our winner has to be this cop.
This is a true story about a recent shopping trip to Walmart.
I was doing some grocery shopping and found a nice block of sharp cheddar cheese. i thought it would go well with some Ritz crackers.
I saw a Walmart employee coming my way so I stopped him and said, “Excuse me, where are the crackers?”
He said, “They’re all over the store.”
We both laughed.
Stay tuned next week for ‘Who Is More Stupid’.
Here are some of the contestants on the next show.
Welcome, ladies and gentleman, to the new game show that is sweeping the nation. I call it ‘Who Is More Stupid’.
Our first contestant is 24-year-old Cory Favreau, who got into an argument over contestants on the show ‘American Idol’. So serious was Cory about his favorite contestant that he hit his friend over the head with a sharpened, cross-shaped object attached to a bicycle chain for disagreeing with his choice. You don’t diss his contestant. I should also mention that his friend was also his mother.
Our next contestant is 18 year old cooking wizard Sean Davey, who set a washing basket on top of the electric stove. The heated burner set fire to the clothes, which set alight a nearby bag of shopping which caused a can of deodorant to explode, blowing out windows and lifting the roof. The blaze caused $70,000 of damage to the house. Learn to eat out, Sean.
Our third contestant is a 24 year old man who wishes to remain anonymous. It is actually his wife who is in the running. She says he was cutting a relative’s hair Tuesday night and apparently wasn’t doing a great job. She took offense to this for some reason and stabbed her husband in the chest with a knife. Heck of a tip for a free haircut.
But these contestants are going home empty handed tonight as our winner has to be this cop.
Geno had a friend we called Leprechaun. Geno gave him the name. He did look like one. This was at a time when Geno and I were living in a 1962 Chevy Belair. Crazy days. Well, this fellow had never met me. And for those of you that don’t know it, Geno is a prankster. We were in town on a Saturday night and Geno had a plan to scare the bejesus out of Leprechaun. I had a blank gun, a starter pistol if you will. This guy doesn’t know me from Adam and Geno tells him he wants to introduce us. He brings the poor fellow over to my car and as I see him, I jump out and say, “You’re the fella that’s been messing with my woman.”. Just as he starts to explain, I pull out the gun and “BLAM”. This guy is looking for a hole in himself, Geno is rolling around on the ground laughing and I’m wondering if that was such a good idea. The guy was white, I tell you.
After explanations, and fortunately, it turns out he did indeed have a good sense of humor. Him and I became very good friends. But he always looked at me sideways whenever anyone mentioned that night.
John Shasteen was his name. And this story is in memory of him. He passed away due to carbon monoxide poisoning from a faulty heater.
John, you were one of the best. And we miss you and your great sense of humor.
This is an actual photo of a police car. And yes, the cops did get in trouble.
Geno had a friend we called Leprechaun. Geno gave him the name. He did look like one. This was at a time when Geno and I were living in a 1962 Chevy Belair. Crazy days. Well, this fellow had never met me. And for those of you that don’t know it, Geno is a prankster. We were in town on a Saturday night and Geno had a plan to scare the bejesus out of Leprechaun. I had a blank gun, a starter pistol if you will. This guy doesn’t know me from Adam and Geno tells him he wants to introduce us. He brings the poor fellow over to my car and as I see him, I jump out and say, “You’re the fella that’s been messing with my woman.”. Just as he starts to explain, I pull out the gun and “BLAM”. This guy is looking for a hole in himself, Geno is rolling around on the ground laughing and I’m wondering if that was such a good idea. The guy was white, I tell you.
After explanations, and fortunately, it turns out he did indeed have a good sense of humor. Him and I became very good friends. But he always looked at me sideways whenever anyone mentioned that night.
John Shasteen was his name. And this story is in memory of him. He passed away due to carbon monoxide poisoning from a faulty heater.
John, you were one of the best. And we miss you and your great sense of humor.
Coming this July. Don’t miss it.
This is an actual photo of a police car. And yes, the cops did get in trouble.
Coming this July. Don’t miss it.
Geno had a friend we called Leprechaun. Geno gave him the name. He did look like one. This was at a time when Geno and I were living in a 1962 Chevy Belair. Crazy days. Well, this fellow had never met me. And for those of you that don’t know it, Geno is a prankster. We were in town on a Saturday night and Geno had a plan to scare the bejesus out of Leprechaun. I had a blank gun, a starter pistol if you will. This guy doesn’t know me from Adam and Geno tells him he wants to introduce us. He brings the poor fellow over to my car and as I see him, I jump out and say, “You’re the fella that’s been messing with my woman.”. Just as he starts to explain, I pull out the gun and “BLAM”. This guy is looking for a hole in himself, Geno is rolling around on the ground laughing and I’m wondering if that was such a good idea. The guy was white, I tell you.
After explanations, and fortunately, it turns out he did indeed have a good sense of humor. Him and I became very good friends. But he always looked at me sideways whenever anyone mentioned that night.
John Shasteen was his name. And this story is in memory of him. He passed away due to carbon monoxide poisoning from a faulty heater.
John, you were one of the best. And we miss you and your great sense of humor.
This is an actual photo of a police car. And yes, the cops did get in trouble.
Coming this July. Don’t miss it.
“Hello Kitty” began as part of a covert propaganda campaign originally proposed by Prime Minister Tojo during World War II.
When in heat, female hippopotami secrete an oil with a flavor similar to strawberries. Kalahari bushmen use the oil to make flat-bread treats for children.
If an average human scrotum were stretched until all its wrinkles were smoothed out, it could hold a basketball.
Ingesting small doses of ink over an extended period of time will change your eye color slightly.
To commemorate ratification of the 19th Amendment in 1920, U.S. playing card manufacturers replaced “staffs” with “hearts” as the fourth suit in the deck. The world soon followed.
In 1960, a then-unknown Dan Rather auditioned for the voice of cartoon character Dudley Do-Right but was turned down by animator/director Jay Ward.
When subjected to an electric current of at least 50 volts, a cat’s tail always points toward the north.
If the current trend continues, by the year 2215 midgets will outnumber “normal-sized” people.
Scientists estimate that sleep lost due to daylight saving time reduces the average lifespan by nearly two full months.
In the late ’90s, Microsoft secretly developed its own version of Linux, but shelved it after quality control researchers deemed it “too stable.”
No NCAA basketball team from a school located in its state’s capital has ever won the national championship.
The African black rhinoceros excretes its own weight in dung every 48 hours.
The top three names for female babies born in China last year were Huan Yue, Jia Li and — unlikely as it seems — Buffy.
Peter Maas, creator of the character Serpico, got his character’s name from an ultra-expensive, highly-prized Malaysian liqueur made from fermented viper venom.
Shortly before his execution, Timothy McVeigh constructed a scale model of the Lincoln Memorial with soda crackers.
I have a new batch of beer fermenting as we speak. This is going to be my best yet. It is a copy of a Czech Pilsner. Yes, that is spelled correctly. They spell pilsener differently than we do. The beer I am trying to reproduce is called Pilsner Urquell. I have used the finest light barley I could find, two full pounds of light, dry malt, three times the normal amount of Saaz hops (it is called for in the recipe), a high quality liquid Bohemian Pilsner yeast and yeast nutrients and a lot of care.
It’s sitting next to me going “bloop, bloop” as we speak. That is the CO2 bubbling through the air lock as all of that malt is turned into alcohol. This will be the first time I’ve faithfully followed the German hop schedule where you add hops in timed intervals to give the beer three distinct hop tastes. The massive quantity of malt, which took forever to boil into the brew, should produce about six percent alcohol when all is said and done.
I’m going to give this brew a full round of secondary fermentation, which they say is not necessary, but which improves not only the clarity of the beer, but the crispness of the taste. That will take two or three weeks longer, but hey, I’m not making Budweiser over here. Then it will be bottled with some of the finest corn sugar I can find to allow it to carbonate naturally.
Hopefully, this batch will be ready to sample around the second week of July (mark your calendar, Carrie).
And even more hopefully, the sampling will take place on the boat.
“Hello Kitty” began as part of a covert propaganda campaign originally proposed by Prime Minister Tojo during World War II.
When in heat, female hippopotami secrete an oil with a flavor similar to strawberries. Kalahari bushmen use the oil to make flat-bread treats for children.
If an average human scrotum were stretched until all its wrinkles were smoothed out, it could hold a basketball.
Ingesting small doses of ink over an extended period of time will change your eye color slightly.
To commemorate ratification of the 19th Amendment in 1920, U.S. playing card manufacturers replaced “staffs” with “hearts” as the fourth suit in the deck. The world soon followed.
In 1960, a then-unknown Dan Rather auditioned for the voice of cartoon character Dudley Do-Right but was turned down by animator/director Jay Ward.
When subjected to an electric current of at least 50 volts, a cat’s tail always points toward the north.
If the current trend continues, by the year 2215 midgets will outnumber “normal-sized” people.
Scientists estimate that sleep lost due to daylight saving time reduces the average lifespan by nearly two full months.
In the late ’90s, Microsoft secretly developed its own version of Linux, but shelved it after quality control researchers deemed it “too stable.”
No NCAA basketball team from a school located in its state’s capital has ever won the national championship.
The African black rhinoceros excretes its own weight in dung every 48 hours.
The top three names for female babies born in China last year were Huan Yue, Jia Li and — unlikely as it seems — Buffy.
Peter Maas, creator of the character Serpico, got his character’s name from an ultra-expensive, highly-prized Malaysian liqueur made from fermented viper venom.
Shortly before his execution, Timothy McVeigh constructed a scale model of the Lincoln Memorial with soda crackers.
Tramps Riverbank II 
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